The Shy Child

1. What Is
   Shyness?
2. What Situations Make Children
   Feel Shy?
3. Why Are Some
   Children More Shy than Others?
4. When Is Shyness a
   Problem?
5. Strategies for
   Helping a Shy Child

Shyness is a common but little understood emotion.
Everyone has felt ambivalent or self-conscious in new social
situations. However, at times shyness may interfere with optimal
social development and restrict children's learning. This digest
(1) describes types and manifestations of shyness, (2) reviews
research on genetic, temperamental, and environmental influences
on shyness, (3) distinguishes between normal and problematic
shyness, and (4) suggests ways to help the shy child.

What Is Shyness?

The basic feeling of shyness is universal, and may have
evolved as an adaptive mechanism used to help individuals cope
with novel social stimuli. Shyness is felt as a mix of emotions,
including fear and interest, tension and pleasantness. Increase
in heart rate and blood pressure may occur. An observer
recognizes shyness by an averted, downward gaze and physical and
verbal reticence. The shy person's speech is often soft,
tremulous, or hesitant. Younger children may suck their thumbs:
some act coy, alternately smiling and pulling away (Izard and
Hyson, 1986).

Shyness is distinguishable from two related behavior
patterns; wariness and social disengagement. Infant wariness of
strangers lacks the ambivalent approach/avoidance quality that
characterizes shyness. Some older children may prefer solitary
play and appear to have low needs for social interaction, but
experience none of the tension of the genuinely shy
child.

Children may be vulnerable to shyness at particular
developmental points. Fearful shyness in response to new adults
emerges in infancy. Cognitive advances in self-awareness bring
greater social sensitivity in the second year. Self-conscious
shyness-the possibility of embarrassment-appears at 4 or 5. Early
adolescence ushers in a peak of self-consciousness (Buss,
1986).

What Situations Make Children
Feel Shy?

New social encounters are the most frequent causes of
shyness, especially if the shy person feels herself to be the
focus of attention. An "epidemic of shyness" (Zimbardo and Radl,
1981) has been attributed to the rapidly changing social
environment and competitive pressures of school and work with
which 1980s children and adults must cope. Adults who constantly
call attention to what others think of the child, or who allow
the child little autonomy, may encourage feelings of
shyness.